I can’t use the busy excuse. Can’t blame writers block. I’ve just wanted some privacy.
The other day I was driving home to AZ from CA and my brain was flooded with thoughts and ideas of things to write about. But by the time I made it home, I was over it.
I’m uninspired with life. Some would probably call it depression. I feel obligated to keep living this life that I don’t want to live anymore. If it were just me, I’d have probably checked out a while ago.
But I created 5 people. And I owe it to them to stick around in case they need me at some point. I doubt they will. The majority will likely not have much of a relationship with me at all. Still, the least I can do is not be a dick and kill myself.
I don’t want to hear any self-help, positive thinking kind of bullshit. I’ve been in this body and on this planet long enough to know how things go.
So I’ll be around. Keeping to myself. Working a lot of overtime. Going through the motions. Probably not writing enough lol. I’ve found some peace in accepting that this is just how my life is going to be.
That’s enough “fun” for tonight. Off to bed I go. Gotta be awake in a few hours to catch a plane.
I sincerely hope that everyone is well.