I don’t get those “I love being a single mom because it’s twice the love” and whatever women. Maybe I’m just envious of them.
I think being a single mom sucks. There, I said it. And I don’t really care what feminist, mom, or progressive hates me over it. Of course I love my child (because someone always has to go there). But these circumstances are not how I’d ever wish to raise a kid.
We are so alone. I joke on Facebook about a family adopting us for holidays. But it’s not a joke. Holidays are incredibly lonely and boring for us since we have no one to celebrate with.
He’s constantly in daycare or with the nanny. Over 60 hours a week. The mom guilt over that is all-consuming. I know kids all over the world have it worse. And I should chill. But this is my baby and I’m not going to just chill. He deserves better.
I’m constantly sick, stressed, and frazzled. I just want to run away, but there’s no where to go. I want to just be sad in bed alone for a while. But I can’t ever truly relax because he’s always in the back of my mind somewhere. I want to not live in fear of catching germs, because there’s no greater hell than trying to take care of a hyperactive toddler boy when all you want to do is puke.
I have the basics down (food, clothing, shelter). But the enjoyment part is missing.
If there’s a secret to this, will someone please let me in on it?